Drama queens.. everywhere... why?

It's really weird. I was married to a drama queen, which is where I learned to perceive the dramas unfolding as she escalated into total emotional lack of control.

So all these years I had hoped my daughter would not follow suit if she wasn't around her Mum to learn the negative behaviours from... and I also hoped the same about Manipulation and Dishonesty.

What a silly bloke I was!

All those negatives either have to be in the DNA or they are a Learned behaviour.. what other alternatives could there possibly be?

After a fortnight or more of continued drama with my daughter.. who cannot hold a conversation with me without escalating rapidly to the point of losing emotional control of herself.. I reminded her of the old story.."The Boy Who Cried Wolf"... as I have been doing now for all of the 17 years of her life. Today just got me a "Hurrumph" when I mentioned it again.

So as I was painting in her bedroom because she decided to leave it until next Sunday again.. I was kind of fuming about it all as it is only a two or three day job that has been dragged out now for just over three weeks.. and then I noticed the background sound nearby.

What sound is that you may ask?

Well, two doors down from my place is a child care centre. Every time the kids go into the play area all you can hear are the Girls screaming.. solidly for the entire time until they go in for food or a rest!!

And that was when I realised something about drama queens.. it is a Learned thing, and I think they may be predisposed to it genetically.

It's the excitement of Drama that hooks them in. And then they see it on the TV all the time, and see it modelled at home and amongst adults and friends. It's no wonder they don't get the chance to learn how NOT to be a Drama Queen.

99% of all the women I have ever known all play the Drama Queen role at various times in their lives.. most of them do it all the time.. and many seem to get some sort of enjoyment out of playing The Victim in order to gain Sympathy and thus energy from others.

The Victim is an important part of the Drama Queen Role being played out in their life. Because choosing to BE the Victim of anything provides food for Drama to fill up on and re-energise so it can maintain itself without having to choose calmness and seeing what the Real Issue is.

So.. many years ago I learned an important method of assisting Drama Queens and the Victim role players, although most times it only gets them more angry at you. The method is simply to Name The Drama!

Naming the Drama being used brings it into the open for all involved to see.. and apparently to allow them to see it wihin themselves and then choose to Be something else in each moment.

Unfortunately with Drama Queens and those playing the Victim Role, they always take that as an attack.. and then try to use it to fuel their Drama even further.

None of them wish to change that about themselves and yet they will complain constantly about this drama or that drama.. this person or that Bitch... etc.

Never do any of them LOOK at what part THEY played in co-creating each and every Drama they go on with.

And since I am over all Drama Queens... and have been for many years now.. I am seriously thinking of telling the girly to go live with her boyfriend as I do not wish to have my life turned upside down a few times a day because of her addiction to Drama and it's outcomes.

I even had to turn my mobile phone off today to stop getting text message after text message and calls from the angry little beasty I call my Daughter. Even though I have been saying for years, "Stop calling and texting me all the time when you are at School.. or wherever."

In fact, I simply remind her that the mobile phone is for her emergency use only.. not a Slave bell to have me at her beck and call 24/7. Not the means to whinge at me about her Drama, and certainly not a means to argue and fight over her Dramas when I have tried to have her see straight while she is in the middle of playing the Victim.

That's the other thing.. when they are in the middle of their escalation into no-self-control, it does not matter what you say to them.. nice words, calming words, sensible words... all are ignored and mean nothing to them at the time because that is not what they WANT from You.

They only WANT Pity, Sympathy.. "Oh you poor thing".. and.. "Oh yes he was a bastard for telling you the truth".. kind of thing.

And I only want the Truth, only want what is Real, and will not ENABLE their DRAMA. So they HATE you for it.. oh well, such is life when it is too short to waste on any sort of drama.

Life is way too short.. so don't waste your precious minutes on playing the Drama/Victim role.. and do not ever Shrink Yourself to allow them their Drama within their Comfort Zone. If you do not Name the Drama.. then you are only Enabling them to continue with it and not learn more effective ways to deal with Real Life.